


i see the signal searchlight strike me

by robinauts



Series: futile devices [3]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/F, Post-Canon, lup just wants to DATE LUCRETIA, making her the most relatable character in all of taz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 11:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12011988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robinauts/pseuds/robinauts
Summary: Lup finds Lucretia out on the patio at the wedding.She wants to make sure she was understood.





	i see the signal searchlight strike me

Lup finds Lucretia out on the cliffside patio of the temple, holding her champagne flute in her hand and gazing out at the frothing sea. The reception is still going on inside, all of their friends stuffing themselves with finger foods and doing the electric slide. And normally Lup would be all up on that joint, putting the rest of them to shame with her hot moves and teasing Taako for using Mage Hand to catch the bouquet.

But she’s out here instead, because Lucretia is.

Lup plants her elbows on the railing, and Lucretia doesn’t startle like she would have a century ago. She just raises her glass to her mouth.

“Good evening, Lup,” she says, and it’s mostly an acknowledgement of presence. She takes a deep drink and looks out at the horizon, eyes firmly distant.

She looks _tired._ Lucretia had been so joyous and proud and at peace during the wedding, sincerely happy to see her friends get hitched - she’d teared up a little when she gave her speech at the beginning of the reception. But as the day wore on, she seems to have wilted in the demands of the crowd, and thus she’s retreated out here to the sea and her wine.

Lucretia (as Lup has known for a very, _very_ long time) has a tendency towards self isolation. It’s both a habit and a defense mechanism: she’s an introvert that cut off everyone in an attempt to protect them. She sees pain - _feels_ pain, so very keenly - and she tries to amputate the wound. In Lucretia’s mind, it can’t hurt if it’s not there anymore.

Lup’s been spending most of her time in the astral plane as her brother’s beau’s apprentice, but she can tell that Lucretia has been avoiding her.

She’s fairly certain she knows why.

“I said I love you,” Lup says, letting the words out into the open once more, and Lucretia’s head whips around to look at her. Her knuckles are tight around the stem of her glass, and she looks brittle enough to break. (Lup wishes she had a gentler touch.)

Lucretia’s mouth is half open, and she looks like she wants to say something: express doubt, refute her, push back. When she remains silent, Lup presses on, holding eye contact even as it scorches the air between them both.

“Back during the journey, and back on the moon when I came out of the umbrella. I said I love you.”

Lucretia’s hand is trembling in a way Lup only notices because she’s attuned to Lucretia’s vulnerabilities. She shakes her head minutely. Her eyes dart away.

Lup just wants to _fix this._

“Lup, I… you don’t need to do this anymore. I - of all people - don’t need… sympathy, Lup, especially after what I did to you, and again, I’m so sorry–”

“I said I love you.”

“You - you have other commitments–”

 _“Lucretia."_ She places her hand on hers, and Lucretia stills, and finally, _finally_ she meets her eyes.

“I said I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> [for a five word prompt meme](http://flovvright.tumblr.com/post/164500763334/five-word-prompts) \- "i said i love you." prompted by anonymous!
> 
> originally posted on my tumblr [here](http://flovvright.tumblr.com/post/164501904664/i-said-i-love-you-lupretia), then tidied up and posted here.
> 
> title is from "death with dignity" by sufjan stevens.
> 
> find me on tumblr at [@flovvright](http://flovvright.tumblr.com/) and on twitter at [@robinauts](https://twitter.com/robinauts)!


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